The appointment, to say the least, was horrifying. I didn't expect to really care I guess. I just figured I would go in, be "photographed" and leave. Well that is what happened, BUT.
BUT, my sonographer - lab tech lady - didn't talk to me at all the entire time.
Silence and viewing the inside of my body not having a clue as to what she was looking at was a bit un-nerving. The ultra sound (outside viewing) of my belly made me ubber-sad. I don't even know how to fully explain what I was seeing. It was just empty. Completely empty. Definitely a worse feeling than the pregnancy tests that scream NOT pregnant. Then she moved on to the sonogram part of inside (i.e. wand inside lady parts). This was weird too. She took pictures and measurements and I had no idea what I was seeing. Yes, I could have asked. Yes, I should have asked. But the lump in my throat prevented me from doing that. I hope - PRAY - that I never have to do that part again, but I know that I shouldn't cross it off my list of unpleasant experiences just yet. Who knows what else will come my way with this process.
Needless to say, the appointment ended. I got into my car and fell apart. Then cleaned myself up and went back to work. I definitely would have rather had the appointment on the Thursday after work like planned as I DID NOT feel like dealing with people for the next 4 hours. I sucked it up and repressed my feelings until I got home. Boy I'm getting good at repressing things....