Wednesday, July 18, 2012

How am I doing?

In June, my sister had her baby. We went home and made it just a couple hours after she was born. She is adorable. But yet, she is another baby in my life. Another reminder that we do not have a baby in our lives.

Our anniversary is next Tuesday. That makes it two years since we started our family and almost two years that we started trying to expand our family. My cycles are sort of normalish....getting more the 43 days on average instead of 60, but still not as short as I would like them. I am still showing a LH surge each cycle, so that is a plus, but I don't know if the egg is even dropping since I have not had my tubs checked. August 7th I will have my annual pap and I requested a longer appointment and made it with a MD instead of a nurse. Hopefully we can get something figured out.

The hubbs wants to be tested (which I will request in August). He is worried it is him. Breaks my heart to hear him say that. Makes me remember I am not in this alone. Thank God I have my best friend here next to me for support. At first I think he was stuck on the "it'll happen" track. I have always had this weird feeling something was off so while I would hope and hope each cycle, deep down I knew these tests would say - or not pregnant. By the way, don't buy those unless confirming a positive test...they hurt more. It was a little annoying to have him on a different track than me before, but now I wish he was still on it. Must be love I guess.

How am I? I am still here. I am still faithful. I am slowly losing very slowly. I am still keeping calm (as much as I can). I am still baby dancing hoping for a good result. I am a year older. I am a year further into our marriage.I am still not pregnant.